SWAT MAGAZINE ISSUE TWO: FEBRUARY 1998*
***************************************
   _______      ______________
  /      /      |10p  | Coins |
  |     /       |     |  |__| | 
  |    /        |_____|_______|
  |   |         | 1 2 3|      |
  |   |         | 4 5 6| |\/| |
  |   |         | 7 8 9| |  | |
  |   \         | # 0 *|      |
  |    \        |______|______|
  \_____\                |
    ||                   |
    \|___________________|

Blasters phreak to Premium insurance.
Typed up by -=The Firestarter=- Done by Blaster

One day in the summer of 1997, Myself, Blaster and Shadow are all
walking back from the camp site, only 20 mins after Gary the bus
driver insults Blaster for running after the bus (more on that later),
Blaster says that he could phreak out "Insult line" as we call it,
(Guess why), by trying to insure his penis so off we head to the
red phone box.  Once there I hand Blaster my dictorphone and go
to sit in the bus shelter with Shadow, a few minutes later blaster
returns with the dictorphone and says that the woman hung up on him
when he mentioned his penis, so he phoned back, we listened to the
cassette and this is what it said:

Recorded voice: Your call will be answerd as soon as an adviser 
		becomes avalible to answer your call
Music -->

Recorded voice:	Thank you for waiting please remain on the line,
                your call will be answered as soon as someone
	 	becomes avalible

Music -->

Op (Male): Hello, How can I help you

Blaster: Err yes I was wondering do you insure body parts odd as that
	Question may seem.

Op:	Say agin, sorry?

Blaster: do you insure body parts odd as that question may seem.

Op:	What are you trying to Fuc..looking to insure?

Blaster: Well it's strange reason really, I'm a guitarist right.

Op:	Yep.

Blaster: And, well erm, this is going to sound silly but I really 
	want to	insure my hands.

Op:	Right ok then, hang on a second then sir.

Blaster (When the op can't hear him) : because I wank too much, because
	I wank too much!!
--Wait--
Blaster: Because I wank too much, because I wank too much
--Wait--

Op (Now back): Hello sir.

Blaster: Hello, yes.

Op: The company you'll probably need to ring is Norwich Union

Blaster: Right.

Op: Erm, they'll probably have what you want

Blaster: Right.  I'd also like to insure my new car

Op: Right, when are you picking the car up.

Blaster: Oh, couple a days.

Op: Ok .. (Blaster cuts in) 

Blaster: It's a custom made car ..

Op: arr

Blaster: It's, it's shaped kinda oddly, it's shaped like a penis

Op: Oh right is it.

Blaster: Yes

Op: Ok if you hang on a second.
--Wait--

Blaster to the tape: Stupid one in it

--Wait--

Op: How much you paying for it then?

Blaster: Oh arr, £5,000, it's really old

Op: Ok if you hang on a second then.
"The Op types stuff into his computer"
--Wait--

Op: Err, what area you living in.

Blaster: I live in the erm Norwich area of England.

"Op types stuff into his computer"

Op: Then it'll have to be Norwich union.

Blaster: Well, thank you very much, and what loverly music you
	had on there.

Op: Sorry sir?

Blaster: While I was on hold, loverly music.

Op: Thank you very much.

Blaster: I usully listen to Iron Maidan myself but that really hits
	the button.

Op: Oh does it!

Blaster: Thanks a lot, bye.

--Hang up--

Excuse the bad english, I just typed what was on the tape, it isn't
my english it's the Oparator, he can't talk properly, and just think
of Blaster doing this in an Irish accent (He never phreaks in a
Scottish accent), the call lasted about 3 minutes 1 of which Blaster
was on hold.
Well more to come as we record them.

In case any of you din't notice: When Blaster asked if they insured
body parts, the Op most likely engaged a trace (Like we care), that
is why he asked where Blaster was living, Like he's going to say
South West Scotland we ain't dumb. We reckon they said to call Norwich
union because, Premium insurance gets about 30 Phreaks an hour (So one
of them said) and they just wanted Norwich union to have a few,
who knows?