_________ SWAT MAGAZINE ISSUE THIRTY TWO AUGUST 2000 __________ / \___________________________________________/ \ / DNS-Con \ / GrEEn_GobLiNz \ ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Yes we were there, swat were present, well F_S and me were anyway.. I decided we were going on the wednesday beforehand, even if i had to lend f_s the cash. this isnt a complete article, because too much happened to include and i ha vent the time to get it all in for ths month. I turned up with 3 bags and a monitor tand f_s had one bag, my back was fuckin well broken. anyway, sound files of the trip will be available soon and recordings of the event should be available from <*COUGH*> the AS site <*COUGH*>. After spending half an hour trying to find the guest house which was advertised as the new haven on dnscon.org we found it was NEWHEATH.. we were not impressesed. The owners seemed a little strange, ie spaced out, the female may or not have been female, and we decided they must be squatters or something! The owners went and got the rest of the nerds from their rooms for us, i cant remember their handles, but they have a site which i'm sure F_S will fill you in on. So with a bottle of whisky in my hand we hit the clubs. We started out in a pub and all agreed the music was too loud, to hear our selves talk, so after 1/2 or so we left to decide on a plan of action. The choice of whether to down the whisky and then go into a club, or vice versa, was difficult, and in the mean time one of the lads, Danni, stormed off in a huff because we were no fun, and maybe the geek lifestyle isnt what he wants, as he said in his letter, i'll see if i can get a scan opf it,,, he came all the way from bradford to blackpool and payed for the event, to go home within 3 hours.l So we hit soem clubs and talked, i actually found someone else who knows the programmers joke... "Why do programmers get Halloween and Christmas mixed up?,,,, Because DEC 25 = OCT 21" Anyway, one of the clubs seemed to have some very fine young ladies, who seemed very friendly towards each other, so thats where we went... FINNS night club,,, 1/2 an hour later when we saw the bloke in a yellow shirt and adaisy behind his ear we discovered it was a gay club, formed a tight circle, facing outwards and edged outa the door... The next club was great,, there was this bird in hot pants and no undies and a boob tube, John (i think it was) wmangaed to ge ta pic on his digital camera,, it will be posted as soon as i get it :) And that was that for that night we were in bed for 5.30 after talking computers in one of the rooms and fiddlingt with my test bed.. Some bloke callled dodger walkjed in and said he didnt want to hear anymore sabout exploits nad shit thru the wall, but he was joking. I also managed to get a lynch mob who wanted to say hi to geddon on that night, but he wasnt in Next day, we hit the confernece, and listened for a while, AS was running their network again, and of course it didnt work again, but they fixed it eventually, suprise, suprise, the AS team won the hack the flag (conspiracy, methinks, that and the fact only 2 teams entered). We defaced a few As posters and then met geddon, we managed to get a pic ofd us stranglling each other before he ran away,,, and we wanted to do was talk, but man his hair and skin is greasy.. We went out and got somew bb guns to fuck around with and then went back to see some mo0re talks. We returned fo alex delarges talk,, god, i thought he was about 15, but he's actually 21,, he wasnt been that social, but i wasd told that was because he treatyed it like a serious event and is the light of the party at the bristol 2600 meets. So on to the sand castle building, BWAHAHHAHAHAAAAAAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAAA After defacing the beech, i think F_S posted the pics, we thought that seen as 'Geddon sdaid he would blow us outa the water, then we would put him in it, so me and F_S grabbed him, and were soon being helped out by others, including some AS pixies, who i found out later, dont actually like him that much. Pictures are on the site, including a splash screen :).. and will be on our T-shirts next year! he went away, and it looked like he was crying. At some point we found ourselves in dixons, where several pcs accidently got set to format on next boot up/. Next we wnet to the confernece hotels nightclub for the hackers jeapordy, and lost,, 8the question was... "name the matrix character with the rabbit tattoo"... of course we knew that. We did get a book for dunking geddon tho! I actually managed to shoot him on the way out, he kinda yelped a bit!!!! We were going to go beige boxing, but alex borrowed our bod with the box, so that was out.. we did go to his room for a chat tho, and crawled about in the loft of the hotel, as well as gettin dna to soak to corridor with the fire extinguisher! we left in good time to go pinch lots of signs and shit from hotels and public toilets, this is my new hobby.. the toilet office atendent wasnt at his post and we magaed to un bolt a huge fuck-off counter device, it looks expensive, ie, it has a 12v, 12A battery in it, about £70 worth, lol, we are tryin to clock it to 31337,. we decided not to go to sleep that night, so it didnt bother us that much when alex's m8 thought hed tell us that alex had been arrested,,, very funny guys.. anyway we did see a ufo and som starnge bird came up to me, shoved her chest out to sremm, "ive got a nipple on, i have hard nipples", well what can i say, they just can t resist me!!! Ater buying a vibe for F_S bird, that did look dodgy, 5 lads buying a vibrator, and smoking plenty of ganj, we went back to the hotel for an hours sleep... So we had a great time, and got to humiliate and shoot 'Geddon,, next year we are hoping for more of a swat presense,, and to get 'Geddon again!!! See you all there. Oh yes we got RNAs lamah diary aswelll, lol, pix wilkl be posted SHOUTZ Every1 at dns con,, the Geekshop krew, The Alt.ph.uk lot (*eccept for clarus, who stared at me all the time and Syntax, who is just plain weird), and any1 ive forgotten names of,, so here goes... John, Dave, Rna, S3V3N_L3M0N (thx a lot fpor the help with the bags), DNA Alex DeLarge, Obsidian, Sideshow, Karpet, and ne1 ive forgotten,,, id just like to also add, 'GEddon u are a twat, lookin forward to seein ya next time, Also =.... i shoulkd just note for the PH.UK guys, i also go under HACKED666 on the N/GF, incase they didnt recognise me! And now for Sam... Yes i8'm crazy about you but you have lied about me and have intentionally fucked me around . You are a compulsive lie-er and i also phear you may be schitzophrenic aswell, You say u cant trust me ver again, but you have no reason for it. You know i'm right, but you need more help tgan you have been gettin, i have tried my very bedst to help you to stop your shirades, but what it comes down to is that you have been rejected fpor alot of your life, and for soem reason, you feel you have to keep it up. Incidently any girlyhackers/phreakers/anarchists please email me for a good time ;) goblinz565@hotmail.com